dsbdavis

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A writer and a potter, happy together, whether writing or getting potted

Homepage: http://lickhaven.com

Dorothy and the Oz of New Hampshire

[This is a continuation of the last bit of past history.]

Before I moved into Dorothy’s Germantown garret, Dorothy and Tom had bought a chunk of land near Keane, New Hampshire. They were planning to build a house and move there. As they prepared to travel up during my first Germantown summer, they left an open invitation for me to visit.

Thank god! I was falling apart and needed to get away, fast. I didn’t have a car now – the VW was at Julie’s (its rejuvenation following my drunken accident deserves its own sad story) – but I could take a bus.

The bigger trouble was that I was too rattled mentally to plan ahead. On the date I had muddily fixed for departure, I had made no arrangements with Dorothy, and she had no phone. As I waited for Julie to pick up Morgan and Erin, I was a shimmer of jitters and shakes, barely able to hold a conversation. God, what a thing to do to my children.

The bus would drop me off in Brattleboro, VT, about which I knew zilch. How was I to get to Dorothy’s, across whatever river and down whichever highway in NH? I had some vague idea of hitchhiking and walking. I’d hitched only a couple times in my life and was (am) not comfortable dealing with strangers to whom I owe even incidental favors.

Dorothy had hinted at harboring some minor psychic ability – probably more a well-functioning intuition. Without any advance notice from me, when the bus pulled up in Brattleboro, there she was, with her son, Rusty. She just had an idea that I was going to be on that bus, that day. If she hadn’t, I’d probably still be wandering the backwoods of New England, escaping from Stephen King.

Rusty, in his late 20s or early 30s, was a cowfucker, a noble and necessary profession. He carried phials of bull semen, set in a canister of liquid nitrogen, from farm to farm to inseminate cows. Cowfucker was the informal term in the trade. People tended to be leery around him when he rode public transportation. A woman would sit next to him, read “bull semen” on his container and shift to another seat.

Dorothy and Tom’s land held no permanent structure beyond the beginnings of a cinderblock foundation. They (and I) lived in tents. The bathroom facilities consisted of a wooden box with a round cutout, set on a hillside, seated over a pit. It had no roof. On rainy days you crapped wile holding an umbrella.

Tom (Dorothy’s second husband, not the father of Becky or Rusty) was an odd duck. Outwardly jovial, he held a deep-seated cynicism about the human race, both in its wider manifestations and as individuals. That first year, we got along famously, and my stay in NH was the highpoint of that dreary, bedraggled year. 

A few months after our return to Germantown, something changed. Earlier, Tom had turned against a former friend; now he seemed to be doing the same with me. Jealousy at my friendship with Dorothy? I had no idea, but I could sense the seeping coldness. 

One day I went out and neglected to lock the back door of the house, which led to its large, brick-wall-enclosed yard. Both Tom and Dorothy were more upset than I could quite understand. When I accidentally repeated my transgression – because I was certain they were in the house when I left – they stood on the stairs and lectured me like a schoolboy.

As the second summer approached, Dorothy told me they wanted to “see what it would be like to live alone.” In less euphemistic terms, I was being kicked out. 

Dorothy and I held a final, tearful evening upstairs, almost as riotously drunk as the night following our infamous duck dinner. At one point, she recounted a strange story: A woman who had been her close friend told her, without preamble, “I can’t be your friend anymore.”

Dorothy said she never understood, never uncovered the rationale. But I think, consciously or not, she was telling me something about herself and me. A friendship that I had come to accept in a simplistic way just … wasn’t anymore. Like her, I never understood, never identified the “why.”

A few years ago, Erin sent me an email address for Dorothy, still in NH but with a different last name. We corresponded a couple times, very cordial. She was having an eye problem – the usual old-fart stuff.

A year later I tried the address and it was gone. I don’t know what’s become of someone who, for awhile, was the beacon in my life.

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The year of ducks and gizzards

Novels, dramas, and (especially) TV scripts lay claim to defining incidents in life that color all that follows. Could be, I suppose, for those whose brains are set with trigger wires, but I’ve had no defining incidents. So, though the particular period I’m outlining here holds an emotional crumbling edifice, to me it’s just something more to be looked at.

By 1975, my marriage to Julie having dissolved into a pudding, I moved from Hamilton St. in  Philly’s Powelton Village to the stone colonial rowhouse of my friend Dorothy on Germantown Ave. (the house across the street still bore bullet scars from the Revolutionary War).

Dorothy was the music teacher at Miquon – Morgan and Erin’s fabulous school – a short, stocky, quietly engaging, wholly wonderful woman of Finnish descent who approached music as though invented specifically to instruct kids and make them deliriously happy. For the first couple years that I was doing the maintenance at Miquon, the school also had a drama teacher. When she left, Dorothy merged music and stage using mostly original material.

While at Dorothy’s Germantown house – which also sheltered her husband, Tom, and teenage daughter Becky – I was living on $13 a week in a magnificent garret: two rooms and a large bath, the whole floored with 18″ pine boards cut from trees you’ll never again see flourish in Pennsylvania. The building (the end one of the row), rearing flat-fronted and unapologetic above the sidewalk, was set on a one-third acre lot that stretched back along a side street, behind a high stone wall.

Mice scurried under the sink and I had to reseat the oozing toilet, but in compensation there were sloped true-plaster ceilings, a huge space comprising kitchen and living room, soaring sunlight, and access to the bathroom window from the porch roof (as I found later when I’d looked myself out).

One aural drawback to Germantown Ave.: It had been drawn originally as the only uninterrupted local thoroughfare. In our modern age, that makes it the premier route for emergency vehicles. Those colonial houses, lined cheek by jowl, turn it into a reverberation chamber that drove me half crazy with a constant blitz of fire engine and ambulance sirens at high screech.

Morgan and Erin stayed with me roughly half time in the easygoing shared custody that Julie and I had worked out. (Easygoing for us two, though it must at times have been hell for the kids.)

The highpoint of the days when they weren’t with me was watching the six o’clock local news presented by Jessica Savitch. Savitch was the most absurdly scrumptious woman ever to deliver TV’s urban banalities, and I’d sit there, drooling. (She went on to better things nationally before drowning in a car wreck in the Delaware Canal. It’s sobering to think of this vibrant sensuality in a coffin somewhere, slowly turning to dirt.)

But most important, there were Dorothy and Becky. Dorothy and I had bonded in a straightforward, non-romantic way, sitting and talking for hours, drinking far too much and enjoying every drop. I spent much of the time alone, but Becky would come up on Sunday evenings to listen to Gene Shay’s folk music program, then on WXPN. She was blonde, with a haunting, sharp-planed face chiseled from stone. She was also a funny, straightforward presence. I treasured those evenings.

One year, Dorothy and I hatched a plot for the Miquon teachers and staff to enact a surprise Halloween play for the kids. We chose a repetitive folktale, “Soap, Soap, Soap,” expanding on it to give every staffer a part. We socked the kids good with that one – they didn’t suspect a thing. That established a tradition of staff goofiness that, I sincerely hope, may still flourish.

Each work-day morning, about 20 minutes before it was time for me to leave for Miquon, I’d call one or another of the teachers who lived nearby (the Germantown area was a hotbed of Miquonites) to ask for a ride. I never established a begging schedule, never thought to establish a schedule. Instead, I started each day with a separate, individual cup-in-hand humiliation. (Ah, the lacunae in our flourishing mental aptitude.)

After my part-tine work, about 4 pm, with no one else home, I would go down to that expansive yard and whack a whiffle ball back and forth. It gave me something to do to keep blackness at bay. On the days when Morgan and Erin were with me, I would take care of them in some disorganized way. They were saved less by me than by the yard, our St. Bernard, Pearl (the Best of All Possible Dogs), and the good graces of Dorothy.

Why was I living on $13 a week? 

Shortly before I moved to Germantown, while my marriage was already slipping into absurdity, I made plans to spend my birthday evening at Dorothy’s. But when I stopped by “home” that day, Julie was cooking me a duck for dinner.

It had never occurred to me that she would want to celebrate anything with me. I felt gut-punched. I told her my tentative plans with Dorothy. Julie opened the oven and insisted that I take the duck with me. There was no decision I could possibly choose that would make this situation even vaguely tolerable. I froze, dillied… and took the duck to Dorothy’s, the blackness deep as a mine.

That’s when Dorothy and I (where was Tom? working? Becky? Studying?) consumed a quart and a half of black Russians (Kahlua and vodka). I could barely see as I started the drive back to Hamilton St. Two blocks along, I whacked the VW bus against somebody’s parked tailfin. I stopped and stood dutifully in the middle of the street, waiting for retribution. With my inexcusable luck, none appeared. Instead, a cop wrote down the details but never tested me for alcohol. Yet, I must have stunk like a skunk.

The VW was a crippled horse de combat, the passenger door folded like a swan’s wing and sticking out in the breeze,. But it took me “home,” good, indulgent beast.

At the threat of having my driver’s license revoked, I agreed to pay $25 a month to cover the car-owner’s damages. That left me, on average, $13 a week for food and all of life’s joyous extravagances.

(The drinking bout also bestowed a two-day hangover, during which, at Miquon, I had to use a chainsaw – for the first time in my life – to dismember a huge willow that had fallen across the main play area. Head throbbing, knees shaking, I wobbled along the trunk, trying to make the torturously loud machine obey my confused commands. That I still have two legs is close to a miracle.)

Across the side alley by Dorothy’s sat a Korean-owned food market that catered to the down-and-out local trade with stuff like chicken gizzards at $.33 a lb. I ate a lot of chicken gizzards those days. I also tried hog maws once. Don’t.

The $13 supplied not just food, but the occasional commuter-train run to Miquon when rides where unavailable, and my one extravagance: lunch every Friday at the Maharaja Indian restaurant near Penn. We each have something too important to release, whatever the cost or circumstances.

At Dorothy’s, I put myself through a disciple I’ve never since matched. I sat at my typewriter each day and forced myself, no matter how black the blackness, to add three pages to the novel I’d started the year before – a meandering bumble with two independent plotlines that would meet, obliquely, only at the final chapter.

The chapter headings were three-letter abbreviations for the amino acids that formed the two chains of pig insulin, the first protein to have its structure accurately described. Those two chains, together, held the exact number of amino acids as my novel had chapters. Sheer, unlikely chance. Again.

Looked at later, all those pages formed one bodacious, absurd piece of shit. Now and then I pull up one of the “better” pieces and check it out, usually while scratching some obscure bodily itch.

And you know, I treasure those bits. Life is bits and pieces. When all seems impossible or evil, we should choose the best bits and cast the rest to internal Hades.

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Of things evil

[Slightly different versions of this tale have appeared in the Penn Gazette (the University of Pennsylvania alumni magazine), and online at Chiseler.org]

According to its yellowing sticker, a pendulum wall clock formerly in the Laporte Community Hall here in Sullivan County, Pennsylvania, began its commercial life in a shop at 41st and Lancaster Sts., Philadelphia, along a stretch I walked most every day to high school. The clock disappeared during a renovation of the Community Hall more than a decade ago. No one claims to know where it scurried off to.

This clock, in its roundabout way, brought me back to a sad, piercing story that’s haunted me for the last two-plus decades.

Seen today, the east edge of Powelton Village in Philadelphia drifts up against an iron fence that keeps you from plummeting down a steep embankment to the Conrail trainyards, which in turn drift up against the Schuylkill Expressway (I-76) and the Schuylkill River. 

The occasional car tools north along 32nd St., which doglegs right at Powelton Avenue to become 31st St., then dead-ends two blocks later at Spring Garden Street. Take a right turn on Spring Garden, and its bridge spans the tracks and the river before the road swirls past the Philadelphia Museum of Art. 

Powelton Village – my home through most of 50 years – lies less than a mile north of UPenn. Its impressive, Italianate Victorian houses, most built in the latter decades of the 19th Century, began as the summer homes of the Center City rich in those days when anything west of the Schuylkill was the “suburbs.” 

The Village covers no more than ten square blocks. Though I flowed though more than half a dozen Powelton apartments and houses, I never lived on 32nd St. With a desolate, edge-of-the-world quality, it’s probably little different in psychic texture from over 100 years ago. Back then, however, there was no careening drop to the rail tracks at Powelton Ave., just a low fence at the top of a wooded hill. Near the southeast corner stood a cruciform commuter train station, unknown to current residents. 

Graduates of the University of Pennsylvania Law School class of 1898 had an almost magical sheen: Owen J. Roberts, first in class, rose to become a Supreme Court justice and, later, dean of the Law School itself. Margaret Center Klingelsmith, a woman of dry wit, mind-numbing determination and unswerving dedication, ruled the school’s law library for 31 years. George Nitzsche, after graduation, became the Law School’s registrar, then served a three-decade span as Recorder of the University, a man of such meticulous habits and lasered exuberance that his assembly of statistics bordered on a magnificent obsession.

But first and foremost stood Roy Wilson White (second in standing behind Roberts), one of those rare souls who, everyone knew without doubt, was destined to make a difference. A scholar, an intellect, a guardian angel to his family, he shimmered, working 15 hours a day at his studies, at editing the student-run American Law Register, at tutoring fellow Law School students and younger students in prep schools around the city. Upstanding, honest, humorous, superbly alive (if sometimes detached), Roy White was the kind of young man you pray your own son will become.

The Law School Dean, William Draper Lewis (only five years White’s senior, and over the years master of an unparalleled career in legal administration), sent him to study Roman law at the University of Paris in the fall of 1899. When White returned in 1900, age 28, Lewis was set to have him implement the school’s nascent graduate program.

Paging through the bound volumes of the Law School minutes while researching a planned history of the school (for which I was paid but which was never published, damn their hides), I delighted in White’s spritely reports from France, expounding on French academic customs – and on the French’s ignorance of everything in American legal instruction outside Harvard. 

His wealth of detail was leavened by a lively, self-deprecatory wit: “I hope you will not think me like the German colonial officials, who are said to elaborate such minute reports of what they do that they never have time to do anything.”

Reading the school minutes for May 1900, I received a visceral shock – Roy White was dead. Impossible! A figure like that does not just die. Scrambling ahead, I found a line saying, without explanation, that he “was killed.” 

When not poring through the school minutes (probably the only one alive who has read them word-for-word from their 1890s beginnings through 1997), for my research I also spent weeks at the Penn archives, housed under the Franklin Field stadium. There, I asked Mark Lloyd, archivist and shimmering guardian of Penn’s history, what in god’s name had happened to White – some kind of accident? 

“Oh, I know exactly. It was murder.”

Mark pulled out several boxes of historical material. Among them were two scrapbooks of newspaper clippings detailing a year of horror and sadness. They reflected the organizational obsession of an unnamed compiler, who – as I later learned from his grandson, was George Nitzsche, that compulsive compiler of minutia.

On May 19, 1900, after dining with Nitzsche at the university commons and teaching a Saturday evening review class at the Law School’s grand new 34th and Chestnut Sts. building, White left, following a rainstorm, to catch the 10:29 p.m. commuter train to his home in Germantown, which he shared with his mother, sisters and brother Tom (a practicing attorney whom Roy had supported through law school). 

Nitzsche, at White’s memorial, described Roy in a way that recalls Lewis Carroll’s White Rabbit: “White’s watch was a great friend to him. It was worn from continual taking in and out of his pocket. He timed everything to the minute, and when talking to you would nervously finger his watch and, pulling it out suddenly, would bid you good-bye and rush off.” 

Remember that watch: Directly or indirectly, it precipitated four violent deaths.

As White walked north that May night, half a block south of the Powelton Ave. train station he was struck a blow from behind. When he dropped to the sidewalk, more blows rained on his head and face, smashing his nose and right orbital and fracturing his skull. The assailant removed his watch and ring and rifled his waistcoat – but missed $16 in his trouser pocket. 

Identified by papers he carried, White was discovered by police officer Frank Harrigan and rushed to Presbyterian Hospital, at 39th and Powelton, where he died at 2:15 a.m., May 20.

A 17-year-old messenger boy at the train station, Ralph Hartman, reported seeing two suspicious-looking Negroes a block north of the station. They asked the way to Germantown Junction, a north Philadelphia switching yard, saying they had come from Buffalo Bill Cody’s Wild West show, set up at the North Philadelphia trainyards, and wanted to hitch a freight to New York.

Hartman, a loyal Pennsylvania Railroad employee who disapproved of the use of freight cars by drifters and hobos, deliberately misdirected them south along 32nd Street, toward the spot where White was later found.

The Philadelphia police responded with what the press reported as commendable zeal. Commissioner Harry Quirk and Chief of Detectives Peter Miller assigned 30 detectives to the case and spread the largest dragnet in the department’s history. As noted in the May 21 Evening Telegraph, “Every colored man in West Philadelphia who was found on the streets and who could not claim a residence or give a clear account of his whereabouts Saturday night was arrested and committed for ten days on the charge of vagrancy.” (This quote appeared verbatim in so many other papers across the country that its parent has become lost in the mists.)

Scores of black males from the local area and from trainyards throughout the city were rounded up, weeded down to the 15 most likely culprits, then paraded before Hartman. He positively identified Henry Ivory, of Wilmington, Delaware, as one of the two he had seen. Ivory had been picked up at the Germantown Junction trainyards.

Next to last in the lineup – two spaces over from Ivory – stood Ward Knight, who had been arrested with Ivory (some reports indicated that they had emerged from the same boxcar). Hartman, unaware that the two had been found together, thought Knight could be the second man, but was uncertain.

The most detailed newspaper report appeared in the May 21st Philadelphia North American – without byline, as was the almost universal custom of the day. Though replete with the usual hyperbole (likely interjected by an overzealous city editor), it included careful interviews and thoughtful descriptions. Others of the 10 daily Philadelphia papers tossed facts and chronology in a reportorial salad – with a blithe disregard for fact and logic that continued in the media reporting over the following months.

White’s murder, picked up as far away as San Jose, CA,  galvanized both the press and the nation’s population. Perhaps it ignited that perennial fear that brutes – especially Black brutes – lie in wait behind every shrub. Or perhaps it reflected the then almost total dependence on public transportation: To get from here to there, you took either a commuter train or one of the trolleys that rattled along virtually every city street. Whatever the reason, Roy White’s murder became wrapped in shrieking notoriety.

The following day, Ivory, identified by young Hartman, confessed to being an accomplice to White’s murder but swore that the actual killing was at the hands of “Buck,” a chance acquaintance who traveled with the Wild West show. Buck, said Ivory, had picked White at random for robbery because he looked prosperous. The weapon had by this time been identified as an 18-inch bolt used to cinch boxcars together.

Ivory’s confession had been extracted using the “sweat box,” a method instituted by detective chief Miller that involved depriving the suspect of food and water, then subjecting him to a half-hour of overlapping and contradictory questions fired at him by three or four detectives. If the suspect failed to crack, the process was repeated until he did. 

After five trips to the sweat box, Ivory had cracked. 

Buck, the police established, was a gigantic Black man named George Johnson – possibly also know as “Charleston” – who worked for the Wild West show. On the basis of Ivory’s confession, Superintendent Quirk maintained with confidence: “There was a man with him. One man only” (The Call). 

The hard work of the department had paid off with a rapid, efficient solution of the case. Except… George Johnson turned himself in and established a clear alibi (reported in the Telegraph using a minstrel-show playlet of Johnson greeting “Mistah Quihk” with pickaninny burble that would have made Uncle Remus blush). When Ivory failed to identify him, he was released.

Along the line, “Buck” had metamorphosed to “Brown.” The May 23 Public Ledger introduced an interesting conjecture attributed to detectives assigned to the case: “They say that there is a strong probability that [Ivory] is concealing ‘Brown’s’ actual identify from them for fear that ‘Brown’ might come forward and point him out as the actual murderer, in case Ivory gave the missing man’s right name and description.” The Record took the conjecture a step further: Should Ivory have fingered Ward Knight – the man found with him at Germantown Junction – “the recriminations might have convicted both.”

What appeared to be the final, necessary break in the case came with the May 25th apprehension, at Trenton, NJ, of Amos Stirling, “a worthless, brutal negro” (The Press) – as opposed, presumably, to Ivory, “a good-natured darky” (Evening Bulletin). 

A Philadelphia detective contingent – accompanied by messenger-boy Hartman and one John Leary, who stated he had seen Ivory and another crossing the Girard Avenue Bridge a mile and a half from the crime scene – had initially traveled to Trenton with detectives to check out another suspect, whom they exonerated. The squad then decided to look over several vagrants languishing in the Mercer County Workhouse.

One, Stirling, had been picked up the previous Sunday morning, about 36 hours after White’s murder, at the Trenton trainyards. According to some accounts, he ran and was tracked down; in others he was sitting, standing or even sleeping when apprehended.

Both Hartman and Leary immediately identified Stirling as the man they’d seen with Ivory on the night of the murder.

One paper (The Press) reported that Stirling had blood on his hat, vest and coat. A second (Public Ledger) said he was wearing three shirts and two pairs of pants, the outer ones new, presumably to cover the bloody underlayers. 

Stirling attributed the blood to a nosebleed. He also claimed to have been released from the Philadelphia House of Correction two days before the murder and to have hitched a freight to Harrisburg, but had not joined the Wild West show there.

(Like an amorphous cloud, the Wild West show continually hovered over the White investigation; it greeted the detectives at Trenton, the show’s next stop after Philadelphia and Harrisburg, and seemed to have employed almost every Black man hauled in by the police.

A circus extravaganza with a western theme, it set up in trainyards for short stands, then packed up again for the next stop down the line. Buffalo Bill Cody, its creator and, at the turn of the century, the most recognized man on earth, hired locals both to help set up the show and to play bit parts in it. Probably the closest thing to the Wild West show these days would be the minor leagues of professional wrestling.

It’s hard to avoid falling into the cadence of the time and stating that I was “numbed by the horror of this fearful story.” Yet that, essentially, is exactly what happened with me. Little that I can recall reading has affected me more deeply than the newspaper reports of White’s death and the ensuing trials.

Yet as I sank deeper into the case, the energizing image of this murdered man – someone of almost angelic purity – gradually faded, to be replaced by a welling of outrage over a monstrosity every bit as brutal as his murder, but more systematic. 

It raped the very concept of justice.

Let’s start with the local reporting, fairly average during the reign of yellow journalism.

To put it in the simplest terms: nothing I have said so far is wholly true, because, beyond White’s death, no unequivocal “fact” can be established from the written words. The anonymous reporters traded phrases and whole paragraphs like baseball cards. I suspect that freelancers sold hastily written accounts to several papers which, to appear marginally independent, blendered these original versions into a puree of internal contradictions. Even the few thoughtful, carefully honed accounts are interrupted by racial diatribe and purple prose inserted by overzealous editors.

Some examples:

George Johnson becomes variously William or Richard, Johnson or Johnston.

One report described the spot where White’s body lay as ill-lit and pitch black; another as easily observable from all sides. 

The initial accounts of Hartman’s identification of Ivory differ so wildly that they cannot be reconciled. I chose the one from the North American because it included a level of detail and precision that gave it a ring of relative truth.

Did Ivory work for the Wild West show? One day it is stated with confidence that he did, the next that he was only a spectator. 

The number of suspects rounded up following the murder is listed variously as 10, 15, 50 and 135.

Most disturbing, in the accounts of Stirling’s capture: A telegram from Superintendent Quirk was reputedly sent to Trenton authorities in advance of the detectives’ journey. Yet, as reprinted, it so exactly describes Stirling as to seem almost clairvoyant. (This despite the fact that the rail detective who picked up Stirling had said that he ignored him as a suspect because the descriptions sent by Philadelphia police did not fit him.) The quoted ”telegram” appears to have been invented whole cloth.

In descriptions of Hartman and Leary’s response on seeing Stirling, both spontaneously shout, “There he is!” and place their hands together on Stirling’s shoulder. Again, the scene smacks of something manufactured by the police – or lifted from some stage drama – and handed out to reporters.

Numerous questions in the reporting called for answers, but few of the writers thought to ask:

Why did the police consistently claim that Ward Knight, the man captured with Ivory, had nothing to do with the killing? As Quirk is quoted in the May 29 Telegraph: “I felt satisfied on Monday that Knight knew nothing about the murder. He told a perfectly straightforward story and would have been released but for the charge of trespassing.” (Yet Knight was jailed as a trial witness for the next five months – though he spoke not a word on the stand.)

How did Knight metamorphose, without explanation, from a neighbor of Ivory’s in Wilmington, Delaware (where local police labelled both as unsavory characters), into a trusted family servant from Marietta, Pennsylvania?

How was it that train messenger Hartman, who said he had spoken only to Ivory, while the second man lingered in the shadows along a street with minimal lighting, could later identify Stirling without hesitation?

But this was only the beginning of the blundering complexity that characterized the investigation and reporting, from beginning to end.

To gauge the extent of the crime’s fascination for the public, when Stirling arrived at the Broad Street train station in Philadelphia, chained between two white detectives, 300 waiting passengers followed the trio out to the street.

Soon after, in a dramatic hallway meeting, Ivory fingered Stirling as the killer. The Inquirer delivered this report of their meeting: “The keen sense of the colored race was forcibly in evidence. Stirling, shifty, rambling in his step, rolling his eyes from Quirk to Miller and then to Ivory, fixed his gaze upon the latter. It was the look of defiance; of composure; of stolid indifference.” The press’s darkies brewed a spicy gumbo of reactions.

The following day, the Record took a more distanced tone (again, I suspect a specific reporter who reappears, wandering from one paper to another, as the lone voice of concern – who was he?): “Amos Stirling … has been subjected to the moral torture of the ‘sweat box’ once every two hours since he was brought to this city from Trenton …. It is doubtful if any alleged murderer in this State has ever been put through such an ordeal [in recent years].” Yet, Stirling steadfastly – ”defiantly,” other reporters would have it – denied his guilt, outlasting his inquisitors.

Whew, coppers, time to relax at last! 

The police department now had more than enough evidence to wrap up the case against Stirling and Ivory: three positives IDs (by Ivory himself, Hartman and Leary) and Stirling’s bloody clothes.

But, suddenly, a complication appears – and with it a novel inclination on the part of the press to question the infallibility of Quirk, Miller and their methods.

A man named Charles Smith had attempted to pawn Roy White’s missing watch – which sported identifying numbers – in a shop at Preston St. and Lancaster Ave. (a few blocks from my home, along my daily route to high school, and, yes, within a block of the original home of that Community Hall clock).

Smith said he had been given the watch by his roommate, Charles Perry. Initially, the newspaper reports stated that Perry gave several conflicting accounts of how he acquired the watch – without the papers detailing what these specific accounts might be. Soon the reports agreed that Perry – either alone or accompanied by Smith – bought the watch near 34th and Lancaster, a few blocks from the murder, from a man who might have been Ivory, shadowed by a second figure that Perry could not identify. (In every report, starting with the night of the murder, the second figure has an almost gossamer quality – except when positively identified from a pitch-black-night’s viewing.)

This development, bellowed the papers, threw a monkey wrench into the clean Ivory-Stirling scenario. How so? It’s difficult in retrospect to see how Perry, simply by possessing White’s watch, materially clouded the picture. But police reaction to media pressure pushed the case in a new direction.

After first saying that Perry was an innocent party who had bought, bartered or otherwise received the watch from Ivory, they tossed him into the notorious sweat box, which claimed another victory: Perry confessed that he, too, was a party to White’s murder – though Stirling did the actual dirty work.

“Perry’s confession was secured without the man knowing anything of Ivory’s admission,” the Philadelphia Times declared. “The stories of the two negroes were then compared, and they agreed in every particular.” This is a remarkable claim, since nothing in Ivory’s original confession, as outlined in the papers, pointed to the involvement of anyone besides himself and a single killer.

By now, the press, particularly in the person of that stylistically recognizable writer most often seen in the Telegraph or North American, had come to openly question the efficiency and convenience of the department’s hastily assembled scenario.

At the formal early-June inquest into White’s murder, Stirling cleaved to his story that he had been in Harrisburg on the day of the killing, refusing to back down under heavy cross examination. Said the North American, “The man’s manner, his simple protest of innocence and boldness in turning squarely toward his accusers and charging them with falsehood, made a deep impression upon the spectators who crowded the Court room, and even upon the police who have believed him guilty of the actual murder.” 

White’s murder unfolded into a clash of conflicting cultures with vastly different needs and perceptions:

• the white lower middle class – the papers’ target audience – that the press seemed to assume could be forced to identify with Roy White only by turning his murder into a raw racial drama

• the black lower class, whose shanks-mare lives remained a fearful mystery to the public-transportation middle class

• the police, with much to prove and little to lose from a quick conviction of three men without lacked advocates or public sympathy

• the press itself, presenting its strident black-and white simplifications, unhindered by a code of ethics or responsibility

These groups met, most dramatically, during the trials of Ivory, Perry and Stirling.

At Ivory’s October 1900 show trial, members of the public used every subterfuge to gain entrance to the courtroom. The papers noted that Ivory was being represented for the first time by an attorney. Throughout his interrogation and incarceration, no one had taken his part in the matter. The same was true of Perry and Stirling: Legal representation was not mandated in the U.S. until over half a century later.

Waitresses Agnes McNeil and Elizabeth Boyle stated that Ivory, Stirling and Perry had eaten lunch at their restaurant on Market Street near 31st – the only persons ever to claim to have seen the three together at any time outside the killing.

Superintendent Quirk, failing to mention the sweat box procedure, stated that Ivory was taken with a sudden urge to confess and was read his rights against self-incrimination. Ivory’s supposed original confession, as read in court, bears no resemblance to reports of its contents at the time it was given (the differences are too many and too convoluted to detail here).

Most astonishingly, in one version of his confession, he claims that a crowd gathered after White was struck, and that he told them someone else had hit White and run away. This despite the fact that officer Harrigan, who found the body after 10 pm on a rainy night, saw no one in the vicinity, and that detectives interviewing the residents of Spencer Terrace, across 32nd St. from the murder, could find no one who had heard a disturbance.

On October 23, regardless of his claims of limited complicity and a half-hearted defense by an attorney who had not had time to absorb even the basic facts of the case, Ivory was convicted of first-degree murder. The entire trial – selection of jury, presentation of witnesses, cross examination, closing arguments, deliberation and verdict – took under two days.

Three days later, Perry’s trial received, if anything, greater public attention. (Along with Ivory, he was described by reporters as “indifferent” to his fate.) A leading white attorney, David Amram – a lecturer at Penn Law – attempted a vigorous defense but again appeared unfamiliar with the early history of the case and its myriad contradictions.

On the second day of Perry’s trial, when Amram attempted to challenge the sweat box system, judge Arnold admonished him: “What more could have been done than these men [detectives] have done in obtaining the evidence in this case? Could there have been more prudent, discreet and careful conduct shown than these men have exhibited?”

In fact, could there have been less? Furthermore, the detectives’ account of Perry’s confession was an out-and-out lie. They stated that he confessed spontaneously on apprehension, ignoring his early claims that he had bought the watch from Ivory.

Amram’s closing argument walked perhaps the only rhetorical road left to him: “No matter how repulsive the exterior, no matter how dark the skin, Almighty God has implanted a soul in that black frame, and you should be morally and absolutely convinced of your right to kill him before you consign him to the gallows.” The jury listened. It took them three full hours to find Perry guilty of first-degree murder.

On November 17, Ivory and Perry were condemned to hang.

Justice came less swiftly to Stirling. Incarcerated at Moyamensing Prison in South Philadelphia, diagnosed with consumption (tuberculosis) and “other diseases,” he had lost 50 pounds and was pronounced mentally and physically unfit to face trial, leading to two postponements.

The trial finally took place April 29, 1901. Perry, as a witness for the prosecution, repeated the basic elements of his purported confession: He met Ivory and Stirling near the Market St. bridge, walked with them to the Wild West show in the north Philadelphia trainyards, back to eat at the Market Street restaurant, back again to the show grounds, then back once more to murder White, some 12 to 15 miles of traipsing. (A bit perplexing, then, that Ivory would have asked Hartman for directions to the trainyards they had twice visited.)

His confession, as reported, does include one detail so unlikely as to be strangely convincing: While standing guard during the robbery, at 10 o’clock in the evening, he heard the distant strains of an Italian organ grinder; independently, the law school minutes mention an organ grinder whose music became an annoyance to students when the windows were open.

The following day, Ivory dropped a bombshell. When asked to “tell the truth” and protect his immortal soul, he replied: “‘I’ll tell the truth so far as I know. What I don’t know I won’t say nothin’ about.’

“‘Well,’ asked the district attorney, ‘what do you know?’

“‘All I know is I wasn’t there, and I don’t think Stirling was there either.'”

Ivory even denied that he had signed the two confessions. God alone knows what was in his mind this late in the game.

Stirling repeated that he had been in Harrisburg at the time of the murder. This claim was supported by Sarah Gray, a Harrisburg restaurant proprietor who recalled him asking for food, which she refused, only to have the meal paid for by a colored regular, Robert Boone. Philadelphia detectives, however, stated that initially she could not clearly recall Stirling. Boone could not clarify the matter – he had died three weeks before the trial.

Stirling’s jury kept up the suspense for a bit, deliberating for a full three hours on the second day, then retiring and handing in their verdict the following 10 a.m., May 1: guilty of first-degree murder. Stirling responded, said the papers, as he had so often during the trial, with a “ghastly,” sardonic smile. He was denied retrial on appeal (as were Ivory and Perry) and sentenced to hang.

On October 8, 1901, Ivory and Perry ascended a scaffold for the first double hanging in Philadelphia in 50 years. It was not a shining example of the gallows art. Neither man broke his neck in the simultaneous drop. Ivory was relatively lucky, noted the Telegraph reporter; he fell immediately unconscious. Perry struggled and strangled in his harness for 17 minutes before suffocating.

Stirling followed them on February 27, 1902. On hanging day, a printed broadside, distributed by the pastor who had attended him on the night before his death, reported that at the eleventh hour Stirling had admitted to being White’s killer and, most amazingly, had added that neither Ivory nor Perry was present. What could have prompted a man of the cloth to manufacture such an absurd and malicious declaration?

At the hanging, most of the press reverted to their terrified-Negro image, stating that Stirling’s knees shook and that he required two men to assist him up the stairs to the gallows – conveniently forgetting the man they had earlier described as so wracked by disease and prison life that he was barely able to walk.

This time the hangman had done his homework. Stirling died of a broken neck.

The elements of this case lie like shards of broken glass. What coherent picture can we make of them? Here is the best I can do, while claiming nothing remotely definitive:

Perry was almost certainly innocent. Neither Hartman, the messenger boy, nor Leary, the bridge wanderer, identified Perry or indicated that a third man was present. Only White’s watch and the two waitresses remotely link Perry to the crime. Until he appeared, no one had suggested a third killer. The dovetailing of Perry’s confession with Ivory’s later statement indicates that Perry was spoon-fed a “confession” that proved marvelously convenient in bolstering the case against Ivory and Stirling just when the press claimed it was threatening to unravel.

Stirling’s case is only slightly less shaky. On the one hand rest three “positive” identifications and his bloody clothes. Nothing beyond those questionable identifications suggest his involvement, and the strong suspicion remains that he was a handy pawn in the police game plan. The man himself had an imposing, unbending presence that captured what little imagination the press harbored.

A more convincing case could be made for Ivory as the murderer, acting alone. White’s watch, which he claimed was taken by Stirling, ended up in the hands of Perry, who said he received it from Ivory. But a major problem remains – who was the second person in the shadows that night?

My own admittedly unsupported explanation: 

Roy White was murdered by Ivory and Ward Knight, his boxcar companion and (possible) Wilmington neighbor. Ivory’s identification of Knight could have pulled Ivory in too deeply to claim only a supporting role, as he did by implicating Stirling, whom he likely had never met before their hallway encounter.

If so, why would the police have kept their distance from Knight? That I can’t fathom. I suspect there were considerations here we can never uncover.

Whatever the objective “truth,” Justice kept both thumbs heavy on her scales. The case is tragic from beginning to end, not least in the realization that one enlightened, pacific young instructor became the central figure in the violent deaths of four men, himself included.

There was an incandescence about Roy Wilson White that flows undiminished through over a century of musty headlines and faculty minutes. At a memorial service arranged by White’s students, Dean Lewis delivered this heartfelt eulogy:

“He died just as the struggles of his earliest manhood seemed about to bear rich fruit. And yet I think his life was long enough to some of those who knew him to leave a lasting influence, and to be for us all a lesson. Roy White was … of things evil as simple as a little child.”

Though Lewis and the Law School went on to ever greater heights, a particular spark went out with White’s passing, a sense of lighthearted adventure, optimism and ineffable decency.

[My thanks to Mark Lloyd, then director of the Penn archives, for his patience in pointing me in the right directions, and to George Nitzsche, whose care, consideration and attention to detail assembled the only remaining record of Roy White’s death and its aftermath.

[Over the years, I’ve attempted to construct a novel from this story, with Nitzsche as hero, as I’m convinced he would have been if the conditions had permitted. But of course, the ending has to remain the same: a shame, a sorrow, a blight on the blindered human condition and our reckless pursuit of an easy conclusion.]

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Sheep on the stairway

It wasn’t that late, maybe 10 pm. Heading for the Penn campus sidewalk, we stepped over a chain strung between two buildings. On our right… probably one of the condemned rowhouses; on our left, the Franklin Society Building, home of the Daily Pennsylvanian student newspaper (affectionately, the “DP”). 

Bob held a wine glass. No memory where it came from. Warren was being loud and brash – Warren was always loud and brash. We were tipsy but not, for college students, drunk, just what-the-hell enjoying ourselves. 

We were stopped by a Campus Cop for… not being what we should? In a public place?

The campus police then were not what they (for good or bad) later became – ex-city cops and reasonably savvy criminal-law types. These were low-paid dimwits. They hustled us over to their office in the dorms, where impulsive, whiplash Warren called the city police to come and rescue us from their campus counterparts. A boneheaded move, to say the least, with exactly the result you’d expect. The city cops packed us off to the hoosegow.

Before I entered Penn, the DP had been the longtime captive of one particular campus fraternity – like a literary plumbers’ guild. But during my freshman year (1957) the paper was opened up to all sorts of misanthropes like… me. However, it remained a male-only refuge; the “girls” put out their own insipid weekly. (Full gender parity, gained a few years later, required a change to the DP’s written constitution.)

Our staff was divided into editorial enclaves, only one of which – News – could elevate its members to the top editorships. But I chose Features, an encapsulated mini-mob whose influence was, in theory, confined to Page 2.

But oh, did we make the most of it. By my junior year, Bob and Warren, as co-Features editors, had turned that page into a fire-breathing dragon of possibility. We wrote about centrifugal bumble puppy (try it some time), sneered at fraternities and ran ideationally rampant across the social wasteland at the beginning of the ’60s.

Bob and Warren had little in common, other than being Jewish. Bob (full name Robert Owen Marritz – how did he come to be named after an Irish patriot?) leaned forward and mumbled behind his hand when he spoke. Smart-aleck Warren, whose brother had some executive position in Hollywood, delivered brash pronouncements accompanied by a mental clipboard. Bob retired from a utility in Oregon a few years back, but Warren seems to have vanished from the earth. I liked Bob a lot.

A younger member of the Features staff, Charles, spiffily dressed and snapping rat-a-tat quips, later took a job in the Reagan administration and started drawling like William Buckley.

I became Features editor the following year and wrote a daily column, “Etc.,” which mixed stupid humor, snide commentary, uninformed snorts about architecture, and bizarre short stories. In other words, it was much like all my later newspaper columns – each of which, for no good reason, started with the letter “E” (“The Entertainer,” “Ex Cathedra,” “Epilogue”).

We stitched the DP together on solid little manual typewriters on the third floor of the Franklin Society Building, a long, narrow structure of industrial concrete beams, fronted by a later stack of yellow-brick rooms pasted onto the street side. (Downstairs, massive machinery churned away doing … something.)

The Features office was a small room dominated at the window end by an immense, defunct air conditioner that we came to worship as the god Mah-Sheene. Knowing that the building was scheduled for demolition to make way for the new university library, we began writing on the walls with magic marker. And on the ceiling. And on the floor.

A few friends who, like us, found student politics ripsnortingly ridiculous, established the United Christian Front. A few of their friends formed the Student Anarchist League. The two soon merged as UCF-SAL (pronounced “You-cef-sal”), ran a slate in the annual student election, and got enough votes to wangle the vice-presidency for the above-mentioned Charles.

Something called the Franklin Society, undoubtedly prestigious, had died when whichever fraternity lost its grip on the paper. The Franklin Society Room, in the third-floor front addition, formerly off-limits to mere mortals, had a balcony and a massive leather couch, the most comfortable napping apparatus ever left to wither. At any hour you could find one of our number snug in its exuberant folds and sags, for the DP was an all-encompassing endeavor. At a guess, I spent 50 hours a week at the paper – almost every minute not given to classes or school work. 

Each weekday evening a few of us, on rotation, made our way to the Legal Intelligencer, the ancient and still official publication of court-related doings in Philadelphia. Their night shift printed the DP. The Legal was then a hot-type operation; every line of proto-print was individually set as a lead ingot. Every word of the DP’s immortal copy was proofread by a rock-solid bald-headed guy who never missed a comma and routinely corrected our poorly aimed college-boy grammar. (Would that such wondrous beings still existed in the publishing world.)

But my most enduring memory of the DP is an odor. I always tore up the Franklin Society stairs two or three at a time, stopping only to talk to any fellow staffer cascading down. If it had been raining when I entered, following that momentary encounter I’d move upward though the aromal effusion of my hair. It smelled like a wet sheep.

I was the only journalism major at Penn who was also on the staff of The Daily Pennsylvanian – because I actually wanted to write. Among other effluvia, I wrote movie and theater reviews. This was back when Philly was a major stop for Broadway tryout companies. I reviewed the tryout casts of West Side Story, Gypsy (with Ethel Merman) and The Unsinkable Molly Brown, which featured an inspired lead by an understudy that night. I’ve lost her name; she probably went on to great things.

Still girl-shy and undating in college, I took my mother to the live performances. She’d always had an interest in theater and showed better taste than I did.

It’s odd that I mostly recall reviewing the Broadway musicals. I’m not a musical fan. I find ludicrous the idea of people hurled into goofy or dangerous situations suddenly breaking into song and dance. Weep, call the cops or shoot somebody, for crap’s sake! But West Side Story, Stephen Sondheim’s first, with music by still-emerging Leonard Bernstein, signaled a full-scale break with Broadway tradition. It hit hard.

I don’t recall which movies I reviewed. I guess I could check what was produced during my college years, but I’d rather leave it alone. The DP wasn’t invited to most press screenings (except those for United Artists, held by a local rep with the superb name of Moe Wax); we’d have to buy tickets and get reimbursed. 

Father Divine, who claimed to be God (from his Wikipedia entry: “Federal Bureau of Investigation files record his name as George Baker alias ‘God'”), was a black fundamentalist who established the International Peace Mission Movement in Harlem that advocated integration, celibacy and strict separation of the sexes.

He fled Harlem to avoid a court case in 1942 and lived the remainder of his career in Philadelphia. I’m not sure how many buildings he owned, but the most notable in the city were the Divine Lorraine on north Broad St. (now condos), along with a smaller hotel near the Penn campus. He lived most of the time at his headquarters in a donated mansion in suburban Gladwynne, with secondary headquarters in South Philly. 

At his height, in Harlem, he had followers around the world. By the late ’50s, early ’60s in Philly, he was more legend than substance. No one knew exactly when or where he was born, or (despite the “George Baker” reference) his given name. He might as well have been God. 

I don’t recall if we, as student journalists, were invited to one of his “banquets” in South Philly, but I assume so, though that seems odd. We sat at an immense rectangular table in a huge room. The “hotel’s” inhabitants – men and women lived on separate floors – filled the table and lined the walls to listen to Father Divine’s taped sermon. 

I was impressed to see these people, so many looking physically or emotionally damaged, who had been saved from the streets, given a room, meals and some meaning to their lives. Throughout his career, Father D. provided for the poor and the marginal, regardless of race. Though inflated stories shrieked of orgies and fraud – such shrieks always to be expected – he seems to have done a great deal of good. 

That evening, the taped sermon, along with exhortations from a lieutenant or two, whipped his followers into a near ecstasy of anticipation for his appearance at the table: At least two women leaning against the wall went into orgasm. But then, alas… Father would not make it down tonight.

In point of fact, he had not been seen in public for some years, though his place at the head of the table was always set. Some rumors claimed he was dead, his body kept in secret, others that he was 105 and decrepit. Officially, he died in 1965, probably in his late 80s.

Though Father could not attend the dinner physically, Mother Divine sat by his invisible side. With shouts of glory from the room, goddam! there she was – a honey blonde in her 30s from Toronto, drop-dead gorgeous. Yes – God gets the goodies. Not only beautiful, she exuded a calming charm that quieted the ecstasy and smoothed us into a fine meal.

At the hotel near Penn, perhaps 15 years later, a cafeteria off the lobby served remarkably cheap meals to anyone who entered and showed proper behavior. A photo of Mother Divine, her picture-flesh now sepia tinted, hung across from the serving counter.

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Things that don’t work

A lot of them, right?

But here I’m concentrating on how, in multiple areas, we suffer from unnecessary and almost inexplicable “design failures.”

Some minor examples:

1) Linda bought a clutch of “flexible scrapers” to remove duck fat and other delights from the bowls and containers to which they adhere. The damned things are so flexible it’s like trying to use a fly-swatter to reshape the universe.

2) Scrubber sponges. Those things you buy in 2 or 4 packs, more often than not Scotch-Brite brand. When I was growing up, anything made by 3M – Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing – was a guarantee of quality. Scotch was their most solid public brand: think Scotch Tape, etc. Now, Scotch-Brite, their leading brand of sponge, is a surefire pointer to a total piece of shit. The silly scrubber, minimally adhering to the sponge, peels away within a week, at which point the sponge begins to disintegrate like a badly spiced mummy. How the great have fallen.

Larger examples:

3) Highway intersections. Maybe this is something specific to Pennsylvania, though I find that hard to believe. About 10 years back, several perfectly adequate and simply arranged intersections, where one two-way road either dead-ended into another or separated to accommodate right and left turns, were suddenly redesigned with arcane extra lanes and lines of upright narrow posts that face entering traffic like the teeth of a prehistoric beast.

Previously, coming out of Towanda (about 20 miles north us), where the exit road ends at US 220, you simply stopped and waited for the 90-degree opposing traffic to… cease opposing, then you turned left or right. Now you’re presented with an undefined mishmash of tangled absurdity and no directions about how or why you should proceed.

4) Mall layout and parking. Despite the fact that almost all malls have the same agglomeration of nationally recognized companies, interspersed with smaller local outfits that just hope for the best, there is no common design for how traffic moves, how parking is arranged, or any obvious way to exit the miasma of adversarial auto sprawls. After decades of regimented consumerism, how is there not even an accepted range of designs for how you lay out a fucking mall?

5) Phone answering systems. Do I even have to go into this? I called our doctor’s office to cancel an appointment because the roads looked impassible. I went through two levels of “push button #1,” which led me to hold, during which, within under two minutes, I got three different inane, mendacious messages telling me how important my call was. At which point I hung up. 

An hour later, the same doc’s office called to tell me the doc couldn’t make it in either. I told her the voicemail was the worst I’d ever run across. She told me that the parent healthcare outfit, 40 miles up the road, had changed everything to central appointment scheduling – which, as I assume we all know, is always a disaster. 

So. With at least 2/3 of the world dependent on all these material and system designs, some intertwined, many apparently independent, why do none of them work even semi-competently?

Some suggestions:

1) Poor design-course design: Whoever is tutoring the current generation of designers – whether they be digital or physical designers – are flubbing The principles of use and usefulness have gotten lost behind overweening assumptions of how such things should be done in an ideal, isolated universe. Or simply to make immediate profit at the expense of utility.

2) Perhaps a subset of the above: Products, processes and overviews are being designed for designers, not users. Design has become a closed system that only talks to itself, concerned with only how the article is put together, not what it’s good for.

3) Similarly, what’s happened to beta-testing: Once – especially with digital design – you assembled a group of users to test your product while still in design phase; they gave you feedback that improved it from the user standpoint. Today, untested phone systems, websites and entire information tableaux are tossed on the market as finished products; their failures and inadequacies are left to be uncovered by the poor slobs saddled with a malbirthed child.

4) A more specific example: I can’t prove this, but it’s visually obvious that the new traffic intersections are designed from above. In other words, the designers are using a CAD program that presents a 2-D representation of a ground plan, so you’re looking down on the intersection. Theoretically, you can thus observe how traffic merges and meshes so that you can plan the most direct and obvious way for it to come together for everyone’s benefit.

But as a driver moving into an intersection, you aren’t experiencing a detached helicopter perspective, you’re moving into a 3-D tangle of helter-skelter elements that aid or (more often) impede your progress. 

5) The political/economic reality: What grants are available to do what? What benefits will they bring into your area? This is a determining aspect (perhaps the determining aspect) of modern public design: Who will pay for what we might want to accomplish, what will they demand, how will this affect jobs, what are the constraints, what will we not be allowed to do?

We are captives of the moment. As humans, as mammals, as living beings, we are and have always been captives of the moment. But the current moment has become increasingly, confusingly complex. Well – that’s progress! But progress increasingly divorced from lived reality.

I have no answer for this or any of the other miasmic problems of our teeming human society. But we should all do our damnedest to at least uncover what the range of possible answers might look like. 

We are not the victims of life, neither are we enlightened viewers of the universal. We are limited yet entwined viewers of “what’s out there.” We each make our own assumptions of what that might, at core, possibly be. But we should never curtail our inquisitiveness, or lower our guard against insubstantial assumptions. 

These comments may well seem to fall outside the stream of what I was supposedly talking about above. But I don’t think so.

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Syracuse and points north (in search of Archimedes)

Near Labor Day weekend of 1986, it was time to take Erin up to Syracuse to start her college year. Linda, Caitlin and I decided to make the best of it by dashing off afterwards for a week’s camping in the Adirondacks. 

Erin had been ecstatic for three months since getting her first choice of colleges, and also her first choice in dorms – a high-rise set on a massive, bare concrete platform, like a square rocket ready for takeoff. Her room, a “split double,” gave her privacy and a roommate, a remarkable combination.

The roomie, however, was obviously not on Erin’s wavelength. A mid-Jersey nouveau, she was nice enough, but her designer plastic shelving, her cutesy-naughty posters of dressed-up animals doing drugs, and her welter of amenities all shouted “culture-clash.”

She had every known form of music-reproduction mechanism of the time – including compact disc! – color TV, an iron, a scale, a telephone and an answering machine. Interesting to compare the apples and oranges of wealth, though: Her near Armageddon of musical technology was given maybe 15 pieces of music to play. By contrast, Erin’s bottom-of-the-line Panasonic could ingest 64 albums. Who was the rich one?

The roomie made friends with a more congenial sort and a trade followed, leaving Erin with a new, lower-key roomie. Looked good. Then we were off to the woods.

We had a mildly pleasant first night by a lake, but the sites were small and stuffy, so we decided to coast around during the second day looking for the ideal spot. This was Labor Day, and we reasoned that the majority of the summer crowd would be powering up their RV’s and moving on, which turned out to be the case.

But we hit a snag at the first campground we tried, Lake Durant. We couldn’t just go in and look around without paying a day fee, and the state campground offered only assigned sites. I like to choose my own, based on whim and the way the trees lean. The lady in the little log hut announced the pluses and minuses of every available site, then suggested No. 46 – though she said we were free to change if we found something more mystically attuned. 

No. 46 was nice enough, but, ah, No. 49! – a large, roundish site pinched in by trees near the lake, with two tiny trails, on either side of a gnarled pine, that led to a teeny-weeny beach, exactly right for our budding two-year-old (Cait’s birthday was coming up the day we returned home). 

And there we stayed for the next four days, as the place turned slowly more primitive, the guard box no longer manned, the flush toilets closed down, replaced by unisex one-holers, and the running water shut off. When I wanted a cup of tea, I bounded down to the lake and dipped up a pot of its tannish liquid. 

When Erin and Morgan had been young, every campground from here to the Great Smokeys was filled with macho fathers bellowing at their teenage sons, blaring radio, and that primal offense to the forest, the Coleman lamp: 300 watts of eye-searing brilliance that shines through any known tent fabric and disorients you on the way to the john.

A decade later, the Coleman lamps seemed to have become victims of a mercy killing. Those who wanted to lead the life primitive with all the accoutrements of civilization now stayed inside their RVs in their bathrobes, and the tenters dispensed with artificial illumination altogether, turning in when the chipmunks got tired of begging, rising with the birds. The only loud sound we heard was the splitting of firewood. 

Caitlin was a true nature child, entranced by the red squirrels and the pinecones. Ten times a day she pounded down to her mini-shore and asked me to ferry her out to the big Lookout Rock, where we watched for boats and leaned down to diddle the lily pads. In less than a week, her vocabulary and precision in the use of language doubled, her independence and certainty in dealing with the world quadrupled.

The second day, we visited the Adirondack Museum, a fascinating complex run privately on a scale I’ve never seen in a Pennsylvania local-history museum. Some 13 buildings – ranging from two-room cabins to massive ’50s exhibit halls of Permastone – recorded more than anyone could ever absorb about an isolated, dirt-poor community that exported nearly all its wealth in the form of minerals.

One of the largest halls exhibited over 50 boats. Boats in the mountains? Lake and river travel, we learned, was the major means of transportation until about 1920, and a “guideboat” was developed locally with numerous variants, many of them achingly beautiful. A guideboat is something like a canoe, but of much stouter construction, which can be carried overland by the guide using a neck yoke. It was the favored way for ladies to get to church on Sunday, riding on little caned seats. 

By way of contrast, a topographical map showed how the rich were hauled up to the isolated resorts near Blue Mountain, where the museum is located. The Vanderbilts and other public-be-damned magnates trundled their portly bodies into rosewood-paneled private railroad cars that deposited them for their first feed at a terminus on Raquette Lake.

From there they could take a gourmandizing tour of lakefront eateries or hop a steamer that powered up a narrow inlet and dumped them onto the world’s shortest railway, a 3/4-mile open-carriage run past an unnavigable water stretch (with a trainman walking behind to trample sparks before they could fry the forest). Finally, another steamer scooted them across Blue Mountain Lake. (The exhibit was run by magnets that dragged miniature trains and boats hither and yon for illustration. Delightfully silly.)

We left camp a day early, because the weather had turned dank, then bounced off to the Shaker Museum located in a nest of Chathams – Chatham, Old Chatham, Chatham Center, East Chatham and North Chatham. (Apparently the settlers thereabouts were nomenclaturally limited.) 

I had always pictured Shakers as monklike figures sitting in silent contemplation, sanding dowels. The museum was an eye-opener. There was plenty of that simple, perfected furniture, but also a love of machinery that was pure Industrial Revolution: a Rube Goldberg apple peeler, and the first commercially successful washing machine – a sarcophagus-sized wooden tub with huge movable baffles. 

An interesting note on the furniture: Nearly all the chairs had vertical members that lean backwards, as though the seating was an unconscious reflection of the sitter’s world view, tipped away from table, sexuality, and society. 

Our last taste of rural New York was a German restaurant in the Catskills. Eating such food must bring on instant Weltschmerz. The salad bar featured heaps of vegetables, all pickled, marinated or tortured in some fashion – piles of grayish matter with gelatinous seeds, not bad but odd and aggressive, forcing you to suck in your cheeks. 

As a main dish I ordered Bavarian beef rouladen, twin cylinders of dried-out meat wrapped around onions and green pepper, with the aspect of a bowel movement and the taste of vinegar-impregnated roofing paper. The gravy, humus-brown, was pretty good, and the home-made noodles – knotty as the intestines of small mammals – quite wonderful.

One of my favorite trips of all time – though we never did find Archimedes.

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Stuff and Nonsense

You ever wonder who comes up with product names? I mean, are there actually people who spend their entire lives naming car brands and models (“Infiniti,” “Lucid,” “Explorer”), or rattletrap RVs made of welded tin cans ( “Bounder,” “King Aire,” “Cornerstone”), or – worst of all – paint colors… there is actually a shade of paint labelled “Putty.” Who in their ever-lovin mind would want a living room painted “Putty”?
Well, I thought this last category should be made more verbally and visually accessible, so here are some color entries I’ve come up with:
Snot Green
Balls Blue
Trotsky Red
William-of Orange
Pestilent Purple
Privileged White
Fairly Pleasant Ochre
Resplendent Beige
Murk Gray
Widows Black
Mood Indigo
Vile-et
Aquamaroon
Spineless Yellow
* * * *
Songs of the African Coast: Cafe Music of Liberia
Never heard of this CD? Not surprising; I hadn’t until a couple ago, when I came across it after years of wondering where Dave Van Ronk’s had picked up his charmingly weird tune, “Chicken Is Nice with Palm Butter and Rice.”
(By the way, what’s the most captivating piece Van Ronk ever recorded? See * below, attached. And what’s his most uproarious take on the absurdities so often entrenched in traditional tunes? See ** below.)
I don’t know what I’d assumed about “Chicken Is Nice,” but certainly not that it came out of a Liberian café recording from the late 1940s, featuring “Professor” Howard B. Hayes and the Greenwood Singers.
On first listen, this café set is disorienting, pitting the man-woman emotional trials of the songs themselves against the obvious joy that these particular men and women have from singing together.
The first tine I heard “All Fo’ You,” it scared the crap out of me. Here’s a woman singing she will put up with anything from her lover – including having her throat cut!
But you soon come to sense a galloping mix of satire, horsing around with stereotypical sexual complaints, and taking emotional entanglement to the extreme for black-comic effect. (And “All Fo’ You” is really in much the same uncomfortable vein as Billie Holiday’s take on “It Ain’t Nobody’s Business.”)
In the opposite direction – playing with gender differences through gentle nods and winks – the Greenwoods “Woman Sweeter Than Man” reminds me of Harry Belafonte’s “Man Smart (Woman Smarter)” from his Calypso album. And who can fail to smile at “Marry Me and Close the Door”?
In “Bush Cow Milk,” the male singer is asked by his true love to milk a bush cow for her liquid enjoyment, leading him to list hilarious limiting conditions before he will comply. Milk a cow – how big a deal can that be? Then I looked up “bush cow”—it’s a fucking buffalo! I’d rather not, thank you.
Whether because Liberia was established as a home for freed American slaves, or as a consequence of the linguistic blending during World War II (likely both), many of the songs are sung in English. Still, it may seem surprising to hear this in a local hangout.
While in college around 1960, I was a delighted proponent of Olatunji’s Drums of Passion, seeing it as a stunning example of the best in then current African music. But one of the staffers on the Penn newspaper, who had spent time in West Africa, brushed it off: “That’s not what they actually listen to over there.”
Instead, he turned me on to an album then called Gold Coast Saturday Night (since reissued with other titles), featuring Saka Acquaye and His African Ensemble. It’s a whole different experience from Olatunji, partly in English and closer to the Liberian café, but all of these albums are equally engrossing: “world music” well before anyone coined the term.
* * * *
A few short bits
Anastasia:
6’ 2”, blonde, elegant, walks with the confidence of a woman who could have whatever she wants but, instead, has the good sense to want what she has. She rides a Vespa.
Anastasia is our insurance agent. How do such things happen?

Flax:
In our geometry class in my Catholic grade school, we pasted little stickers on outline maps to identify an area’s major products. No matter what sector of the world we were covering, there was always a sticker for “flax” to be glued somewhere (in Europe, it was slapped on Belgium).
The tiny black-and-white sketch suggested a bound bunch of upright plant stuff. I had no idea what flax was or what you could do with it, yet (presumably) it grew and was harvested all the hell over the place. Now, enlightened, I know that it is and was (with a great deal of hand labor in the olden days) converted into excellent linen dish towels.
Way to go, Flax!

Proper Recognition Department:
Remember, please, always to refer correctly to a certain pseudo-journalist as Fucker Carlson.

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The end of holidays

Growing up, Christmas and its attendant effervescence were all-consuming. We had no colored lights, inside or out – maybe we couldn’t afford them, maybe they didn’t fit into some restrained tradition I was unaware of. (I was unaware of most things those days.) I missed those lights as we tooled around the Philly suburbs looking at the wonderful grotesqueries of illumination at so many houses. 

But inside, throughout our downstairs, we set up waves of decoration, mostly thin ropes of dark red crepe paper with little silver foil-on-papier bells at the ends. These wound around stair banisters and hung in wild swoops across the walls.

Absent lights, the tree hung heavy with fragile colored glass ornaments – cheap and inelegant in retrospect, but overwhelming in quantity and so distinctly ours. Under the tree we set out the accumulated wealth of miniature metal animals and citizens my mother continually collected from England.

Vic, 12  years my elder brother, had been the holiday decorator for many years. When he left to join the merchant marine, I took over and, I must confess, set to outdo him. And did. The farm miniatures expanded to cover not only the long “library table” that held the tree, but later (as I foggily remember) onto the coffee table.

So that was my Christmas as a child – devoid of any obvious religion. I loved most of the standard carols (except “Silent Night,” never could stand that drippy creak of sound), but had no idea what they were really about. Sex was never – never – mentioned in our house. I had no concept of it, so I saw Mary as a “virgin” as something peculiar to the bible, an indefinite  word that did not live outside its 2000-year-old pages. Likewise, a “manger” – some kind of box or whatnot kept in stables in those days.

After I was entrapped into Catholic school, I joined the church choir and loved singing the Gregorian Chant at Christmas midnight mass. But though we sang in Latin, I understood the barest smidgeon of it. To me, “Gloria in excelsis deo” proclaimed that a a “deo” was the kind of barn where Jesus was born, belonging to one Excelsi – a good and caring farmer.

When my elder daughters, Morgan and Erin, were wee kids, I constructed all sorts of elaborate Christmas presents – playhouses with interlocking roof and walls, reversible plywood seats (taken from patterns in the back of Woman’s Day magazine – a remarkably good source for such stuff in the ’70s), things I could make over weeks that Julie and I could never afford to buy. Along the way, we did buy tree lights – ones that blinked individually in no rhythm; I would lie for hours on the darkened living room floor, watching, close to ecstasy. 

As that first marriage tumbled, my Christmas slowly moved to eldest brother Rod’s house in Rose Valley, PA, where he always strove (and succeeded) in cramming the largest possible tree into the ancient mill-hand living room. There, in my 30s, I first heard Schutz’s “Christmas Story,” broadcast in the wee hours on public radio, while I lay strung back on dexedrine tablets filched from his medicine cabinet (dex was a legal weight-loss pill back then). 

Christmas dinner at Rod and Ginny’s has become the lasting family tradition since those days, a half century of quietly roisterous meals that now involve Linda and me, our kids, and their attendant interests. Rod is almost 12 years fled to the afterlife, their only child, Roddy, is almost 20 years dead, Ginny has lost much of her hearing, while the rest of us have scattered here and there and (in some cases) back again – the dinners swap personnel depending on availability.

Dinner is preceded by quiet chat and as much cheese as we can stuff down in two hours. It’s a happy gathering, cut short, of course, the last couple years by pandemic concerns. But with Rod and, especially, Roddy (the best mimic and jokester I’ve ever known) gone, the core, to me, is empty. I feel like a stuffed figure in the rocker I usually choose while wolfing the cheese, less a being than an emblem.

Tomorrow our tiny tree reverts to being the Norfolk Island pine on the bathroom windowsill, and I go back to hoping it doesn’t snow as godawful much as last year.

I’m not sure what I’m a part of, what I may have lost or gained in the years of transition (everything is continually in transition). But here I am, and much (most) of my life is better than it ever was. On the days when I can’t give three cheers, I give two hearty ones, without reservation.

Sooo…the best to all of you, whatever that best may be.

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The calculus of dissolution

Anyone who knows much of anything about the history of mathematics knows the name Cantor. He was one of the math geniuses of all time. Being neither a math genius nor a math competent, I couldn’t tell you precisely what he accomplished, what he was most noted for, what difference he made in the intellectual world.

So I’m talking about a different Cantor, who taught me calculus, who… I barely know what to say. One of the 2 or 3 best teachers I’ve ever been exposed to, and one of the most sad, most riddled people I’ve known.

While looking into the background of my friend Dave Liberman (who died way, way too early), I stumbled over a site listing the prizewinners for best freshman math paper presented at UPenn. Not surprisingly, Dave (first  in his class the year he graduated) had won in 1960. I also noticed that five years previously, that freshman prize had been shared by Robert Cantor. 

In the summer of 1964, at Penn, a year after I’d snuck back from a disastrous term studying truly dumb shit in grad school communications at Stanford, I steamrollered through organic chem, elementary biochemistry and calculus.

That first summer semester, it was my enormous good fortune to have Cantor as grad-student instructor. Scrawny, obviously shy, he stood at the front of the room in rolled-up shirt sleeves, a 3×5 notebook cupped in his hand throughout each session. He wrote equations on the board, copying from the tiny booklet, then asked for student questions, which he answered in specific, evolving detail. If the student remained perplexed, Cantor would provide yet more detail. I never saw him leave a student without a complete, convincing answer to a question.

At the end of his thoroughgoing course, he gave a five-hour final exam – using the exam as yet another vehicle for instruction. The next day, he held an optional meeting to discuss the exam in detail – what it was doing, what it was intended to do – what it taught. At least 90% of the class showed up for the review.

The course was an illuminating educational experience, exactly what learning should be about.

The Penn math department at the time was known for using its grad students like chattel, cleaning up research for the mahoffs who refused to release them to finish their degrees. So, assuming Cantor got his undergrad degree in ’58, he’d been tunneling through the department for at least 6 years by the time I took his course.

Two years later, he left home with a note paper-clipped to his shirt pocket that read, “I am not who I am.” He walked into the Penn math department where he shot two of the profs and himself. He and one of the profs died.

Such things are all too common these days. They weren’t then.

Cantor was not a madman. He was a dedicated, caring, downtrodden human being. Once, while I was working at the Penn bookstore, he stopped in to buy a newspaper. I said Hello. It was like offering a piece of bread to a deer. He barely knew how to respond.

I should at least have asked him how things were going for him. I’m sure it would not have changed any future outcome, but I missed a chance to thoroughly acknowledge a human being I admired, and who probably never fully realized his own worth.

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When solidity was not treasured

Screenplay: Tentative title : “The End”

Opens with the world in disintegration (in other words, the world of today): climate decimation, wildfires, floods, pan-academics, cows farting methane, Brazillians whacking down trees, the US run in dictatorship by Stump, England slavering over Clown Johnson, Bangladeshis three-feet under water, reindeer eating plastic, plastic eating reindeer.

Noble underground scientist outcasts (1/2 women, 1/3 minorities) battle heroically to stem the tide of destruction as eruptions of pus and putrescence foul them.

The chaos is quelled, the traumatized two-year-old snuggles to her mother’s soot-stained breast.

As the John Williams soundtrack swells and quivers, the reformed teenage badass son points to the sky: “What’s that?’

The heroic father: “Not… the asteroid?”

All: “Oh fuck!”

*    *    *    *

A song for those who prefer 18th century chemistry

Phlo gently, sweet giston,

Flow out of this log.

For 2000 years

You lay dead in a bog.

But now I’ve set fire,

To both our delight.

Flow gently sweet gi-i-i-iston,

Burn into the night.

*    *    *    *

Nordic limerick

There was an old man of Gdansk,

Who stumbled around in a dance.

He said with a quaver,

“I ask you this favor,

“Drop no fire ants down my pants.”

*    *    *    *

Two men sat on a log. There was room for a third, but he had gone into town to purchase beer.

“This is a good, solid log,” said the first man.

“Ay-up,” said the second.

“Do you think there are many logs this good and solid?”

“Ay-up.”

“Do you think, if we piled them all high enough, we could reach heaven?”

“Ay-up.”

“What time is it?”

“How the fuck would I know?”

The third man returned with two sick-packs of an unknown IPA. None of them liked it.

*    *    *    *

Socrates’ butt itched.

“What the matter?” asked Plato.

“My butt itches,” said Socrates.

“Ah,” said Plato.

*    *    *    *

Thomas prodded the Lord’s side: 

“Why 12 apostles?”

“What d’ya mean?”

“Why not 15?”

“That’s not an even number.”

“It’s not even a number?”

“No, you dickhead, it’s not divisible by two.”

“Most things aren’t, unless you have a great big sword.”

“Has anyone told you how dumb you are?”

“Many.”

“Manny? Manny who?”

It went on that way for awhile.

*    *    *    *

An ancient man sat under a tree and wondered in what year he had been born. He was old enough that he had forgotten his childhood, then his middle age, then his later years, and now, yesterday. He leaned against the tree trunk and thought, but nothing significant transpired.

A squirrel chittered down the tree and sat on his belt buckle. It looked up at the old man and felt a deep, harrowing sadness. What does a squirrel need of sadness? It wasn’t a need, it was a calling.

The ancient man looked at the squirrel, wondering at first why it was there, then retrieving a memory. “I’ve met you before,” he said.

“No,” said the squirrel, “but possibly one of my ancestors.”

“I’ve never met my ancestors,” said the old man, “except my parents. I suppose they are ancestors, of a sort.”

The squirrel clawed his way up the man’s shirt. “No man, no woman, no human, has ever mated with a squirrel.”

The man laughed. “Can you say this with certainty?”

“I can say nothing with certainty.”

The man gave the squirrel a pistachio from his pocket and set out again on the trail.

“Tomorrow,” he said to the hemlock branches, “tomorrow I will have the answer.”

*    *    *    *

How many piglets will fit in a wormhole?

“It depends,”said Stephen Hawking while being fed a croissant, “where the wormhole exits.”

*    *    *    *

Leonardo da Vinci was cleaning the spaces between his toes with a small twig. On the hillside across from him fed a flock of… what? Sheep? His tired eyes could not focus. Goats?

He put down the twig and stood to investigate. A loud noise came from the direction he had just left. An animal? No, a machine of his own invention. The sound had not existed in all the world until he had made the machine in his mind and then transferred it to paper. “Well!” he said, with enthusiasm, but not pride. His inventions would never be, so it was said, merely extrapolations.

He trod across the road. He had neglected to return his sandals to his feet but was unconcerned. 

“If there was a way,” he considered, “if there was a way…”

But of course there wasn’t.

There were neither sheep nor goats, but a tiny, withered man in a shambled riding coat. Leonardo considered the man, the coat, the hillside, the circumstance.

He went home to paint.

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